itz_menos Darling posted Nakamaru's 10,000 words Myojo 2016.03 interview ~ check tagumarulove! and be sure to leave your appreciation~ believe me, it's an awesome read!
It's such a powerful interview. So many things we can relate to and so many things he tried to convey to make us understand the pressure and the pain and the anxiety and worries, and yet that bond... complicated feelings... complicated KAT-TUN... I think he did a great job!
KAT-TUN is family
So, if KAT-TUN is a family, what is your role in it?
---- Hmm, considering my personality I wanted to be the mother but (laughs) *lol hugs him*
I said there are many relatable parts in this interview... like how fans feel. Just watching how fandoms reacted and is still reacting... watching how people who were really really active in fandom just suddenly disappared or just gradually disappeared and is disappearing... it's just like how Maru described that feeling of members leaving;
'[...]when they leave the group... it's like there's an impact that kills something inside us. It's comparable to the pain of our bodies being torn apart'.
It might sound trivial or a stupid thing to do but fandom is a great part of many people's lives. So having it taken away~ with the members leaving and now the hiatus~ can be quite a blow.
That's why, once in a while I'd have a part of me where I can't fully forgive the members who left; [...] but if I've to express it in words, it'd probably be “It can't be helped”, maybe...
And yet, because Junno is Junno, I surely can't hate him. At times I find myself suddenly angry (like when I watch SCP or Tame Tabi) - it was the same with Koki, but because Junno is Junno, I might be mad and still can't understand or support his decision but yet--- it's like what Maru said;
Of course, there's no way I hate him, but still...
I, for one, I'm still skeptical about KAT-TUN's return after a year or two. But then, following the energy/sincerity from Ueda's interview, Maru reassures me saying;
... our ten years have many turning points [...] it forges us (to be stronger)... That's why[...], if it's us, if it's KAT-TUN, I believe we can surpass it [...] there are more things that we can deliver to you.
And then what I've been feeling and what I believe many folks still feel - this question;
Knowing this much pain, does it make you regret choosing to be in KAT-TUN?
Not at all. Yeah. For me, even before debut this group is, how can I say it to express this well... A risk, saying it's just for this moment, “Perhaps it's a group that's difficult to preserve as six people”... I've had that kind of worries since then.
I think this goes back to the fact that, it's because it's KAT-TUN why people expect this sort of thing. We all hope it won't happen but at the back of our minds, deep in our hearts, this unstable KAT-TUN that no matter how strong we feel, no matter how much we say we'll trust them; - there will always be that nagging feeling of, 'these guys, even if they have good intention, they can't be trusted - but still, I can't stop myself from loving them'.
But it's the last question/answer, that almost pulled from me a legit tear. Ueda said the same thing too;
[...] If in ten years, if someone said “Let's meet up, the four of us”, will you be able to meet with a smile?
---- Yes. But, if we're meeting in ten years it would be the six of us. Not the four of us. At that time too, we'd all have worked hard, so we would be able to meet and talk while smiling, I'm sure.
KAT-TUN is such a strange existence... but it's this reality to them that I like.